I MUST FIND A MORE SUITABLE HUMAN HOST!

Not a list of my own creation, but a quite pleasant unorthodox one nonetheless...a list of the buttons you should press to bypass the ill-humanoid machine automated bastard services for many big companies...for the impatient. Next time your coffee pot explodes or your CitiBank card is confiscated by aliens from Vega, check out the list to pick your numbered-button poison:
http://paulenglish.com/ivr


Thanks Paul!